After returning home from work yesterday, I was greeted by my smiling wife telling me to look at the floors. As usual, I did what she asked. As usual, I had no idea what she was talking about.
“Look how clean they are” she said. She seemed surprisingly pleased with herself and I began to wonder whether or not her long term unemployment was finally getting the better of her. Humans need a purpose, without it, they begin to act a little strange.
Eventually, I figured out that her overly excited state was not in fact the result of sparkling floors. Instead she was happy because she had just purchased a new mop.
“It’s not just a mop Brian, it’s a steam mop.”
Now, I’ve never been one to keep up with modern technology. And as a result, the words “steam mop” didn’t immediately ring a bell. I assumed it was some kind of cleaning device that utilized steam.
While that assumption turned out to be correct, what I did next was not..
“Why would you waste money on such a thing?”
Of course, this predictable mistake had the predictable result of an argument in which I was educated on the cleaning abilities of steam and interrogated as to why I “had to always ruin everything”.
I’ve learned two things from this experience. First off, when your wife purchases something, however illogical, keep your mouth shut. Women like spending money. And if it’s a hundred dollar steam mop, it’s not worth the argument.
The second thing I’ve learned is that humanity is clearly getting lazier than ever.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t have anything against steam cleaning. My wife forced me to visit a website about the best steam mops and I can certainly see the attraction.
They are certainly an intelligent invention. But what worries me is that they’re not exactly a necessary one. And I think they sum up just how lazy people are becoming.
Is it that hard to carry around a bucket of water when cleaning the floor? Are we in that much of a rush that we cannot wait twenty minutes for those floors to dry?
In the twenties, we invented Penicillin. In the nineties, we invented the internet. And in the thousands? We invented a way to clean floors without carrying too much water around.
Perhaps next years biggest invention will be a way to change TV stations without having to go through the labor of picking up a plastic remote. Oh wait….